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Well it’s that time of year again. When you look out the window and laugh at all the people who haven’t put down their christmas decorations yet. And you think, “Either they don’t know it’s not christmas anymore, or they’re just being lazy.” This month of February brings the dreaded groundhog announcement which is basically the same every year. At least in Wisconsin. “600 million more weeks of winter!” And he’s always right. Except for that rare occasion last year when he didn’t see his shadow…(how the heck do those people in charge of the groundhog even know if he saw it or not??) Turns out he was wrong though. There were many more weeks of winter after that.

But I’m not here to talk about Groundhogs Day. I’m here to talk about the so called Single Awareness Day. Or Valentines Day for all you normal people. Anyways.

Valentines day for me has always been exciting. You always hold out hope that some magic man will ask you out before V-day so you’re not alone. you start watching much gushy dramas and thinking up creative ways that some guy will ask you out. Like he’ll buy you a giant box of chocolates and make you a humongous card that says be mine on it and bring it to your classroom. Or deliver it to your house. And then you wake up in reality. That the one you like still has a girlfriend, no one else you know likes you, nor is even going to be thinking about you that day…. *sigh* and then you are all too increasingly aware that you are very much in fact, SINGLE. So lo and behold. Single Awareness Day. It’s also the day where you have an excuse to eat a bunch of chocolate to make yourself feel better.

Valentines day used to be really cool at school. But only in elementary school. You would stress about what pre made Valentines Day cards to pass out and what giant bag of individual candies you were going to purchase to tape on the teeny weeny valentines. Then you spent the night before Valentines Day writing all the names of the people in your class. Even the names of the people you didn’t like. But those kids didn’t get the pretty foil valentines. No you gave them a lame one. Then you spent time writing messages to all your friends on the fancy cards and picked out their favourite candy to attach. And then when you were done you proceeded to funnel into your mouth all the leftover candy. The next day at school, you dropped each kid’s separately addressed valentine into their little decorated paper bags with hearts on it. Scanning the room you inconspicuously look at how many valentines YOU were or might be receiving. When the valentine gift giving was over, it was like chaos. The children scramble to their desks eager to open up the bags. Candy flying everywhere, kids screaming, kids stealing other kids’ candies, hair pulling, crying, and biting everywhere.
Okay so maybe it wasn’t exactly like that. But pretty close. Unfortunately this annual ritual of candy giving stops right after elementary school. Can you say lame? You get to middle school all like “Hey! Where’s my candy??” And everyone just looks at you and laughs because they know that the only ones getting candy from then on, are the ones who actually have boyfriends or girlfriends. NYAHHH XP. Of course there’s the occasional situation where you score a chocolate from some poor sap in the hallway who pities you and says, “Here, have a chocolate. Happy Valentines Day.” Then they hurry away quickly as if singleness was a disease.

Then you get to high school Valentines Day. Actually, Valentines week. Or Year. It becomes all too clear that you are single when every time you walk down the hallway, you get couple macking on each other like if they don’t, the worlds gonna end the next morning. You sadly hang your head and walk quickly down the hall past the couple while humming All the single ladies, all the single ladies… Or maybe you don’t rush past them. You relish staring at their make out sessions because if singleness is a contagious disease, then maybe so is coupleness. Or at least that’s the theory.

Valentines week in our high school, they sell cans of the soda Crush in colors red, purple, and orange. Red for love, purple for crush, and orange for friend. You can buy them and write a personalized message that you want it to say, and it gets delivered to the recipient’s classroom in V-day. The table where the sodas are sold, is stationed in the lunchroom where alllllll the students are watching. Its mostly girls that go up there and gladly sign their names in the designated Crush register. And they do it in groups too, so when they leave the table they’re all giggling together and gushing about how romantic it all is. Then you get the rare boy that gets up. You watch him make his way shamefully up to the table, get halfway, then do a 180 and pretend he’s not going there. Then he turns back and bravely treks up the to that slip of paper. Hurriedly he signs his name, and writes a really thought out message like “Happy Valentines Day.” Then high tails it out of there with his tail between his legs. And if you’re the person actually up there, you start sweating as you hold the pen because you can feel two hundred eyes boring a large hole into your skull as you’re signing. You shake a little as you feel pressured and you find yourself spelling your name wrong. Finally you finish scribbling whatever, and then you bruise your butt rushing back to sit down at the benches. But little do you realize, that even if you think you were being clever by going up there and making it seem you had a special someone to send a Crush to, you will know deep down that you are SINGLE.

Now I speak as someone with past experience…As difficult as it is to be single on Valentines Day, single people don’t realize that it’s just as difficult to be not single on V-Day. There’s just so much pressure! (First world problem…I can feel the hate glares now). You don’t know what to get them because you could go all old school with heart shaped chocolates and flowers, and they might hate it!! Or you want to do something extremely complicated but you find yourself running out of time. Finally you just settle for buying them a heart shaped pizza. Or maybe that’s just me. When you’re walking down the hall looking down at the cute little teddy bear he might have gotten you, you happen to glance over and see some other couple and oh look!! She’s got a huge stuffed frog!!!!! Then you see what she got him and it’s a homemade plate of heart shaped DOUGHNUTS!!! You glare at the couple as you walk past and lift your head high because you know you gave your Beau a way better gift. A hand knit sweater made from your own hair with a little love sewn into it. Okay maybe that’s a little extreme. But hey, it’s the thought that counts right?

Well, just to sum this whole Valentines Day mess up in one sentence:

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So don’t worry cuz Valentines day is just another day. Do you have any great Valentines day anecdotes? Don’t be afraid to share! ^.^

One thought on “Happy Heart Day!

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